thought provoking survey.. 'Writing Themselves In'

[cicada]

@
www.glhv.org.au/node/602

"Writing Themselves In 3 - Survey
Who pushes your buttons?
Are you attracted to people of the same sex?
Aged between 14 and 21 years?
Living in Australia?
Interested in having a say about the issues affecting your life?

Go to www.wti3.org.au to find out and complete an online survey."


It's a survey run by Gay and Lesbian Health Victoria, helping to get more SSA (same sex attracted - not necessarily gay or lesbian, but any shade of GLBTIQ) people's opinions in for more policy and research.

It's really interesting, takes about 20 mins and made me think lots.
Maybe if you'd like to do it, posts your thoughts after here?

[cicada]

oops spamming the boards again

So i thought i'd post my thoughts after doing that survey.
I only just qualified to do it as i'm almost outside the age bracket, but yeah it made me think heaps about being queer and how I feel about it, and my relationships etc.

I guess something that really made me sit up was realising how much I've become comfortable with being queer over the years. Like, I started off really hated it, and myself for it, but i've gone from that to being so comfortable identifying as a queer woman and in fact now I really love being queer! omg. Also the fact that I got through a lot of crap for not being straight ('friends', family, weird men on trains etc) makes me feel heaps proud of myself and positive about the future.
Anyway, so i guess it just made me realise how lucky and how amazing it is to now be so happy being queer and that i got through the crap of coming out in high school etc.
*ramble*

the other thing that it made me realise is just HOW BAD school sex ed is.
Really, its the worst.
In fact, i'll go and start another thread about it now in the general section

[arathis]

What a great survey. I took it and it was very thought-provoking, you were right.

It did make me realise that my bisexuality should remain a part of my identity, even though I'm in a long term heterosexual relationship. I've always felt that since I'm in that relationship, I'm being a bit of a pretender by professing to be queer. The survey helped me with that a little.

It also made me realise how downright homophobic my school was, simply because queer relationships were NEVER MENTIONED! AT ALL! It was like they didn't exist...

In fact, the only mention I remember was by a member of staff who we were pretty sure had vaguely paedophilic tendencies... so yes, I don't think that counts.

[duckyplucky]

Hi I did the survey. yeah, was pretty thought provoking. Totally wasted all the time I was planning to study though!! ARRGHGHG exams coming!
So I thought I'll just copy and paste the bits I wrote in the Final Thoughts section:

I'm in a very difficult stage at the moment. Lots of problems in all areas of my life ie. what to do with my future, what to study, what my sexuality is etc...
i have tried to join a 'curious' group at uni, but I stopped going. I am too afraid to go into the Queer Lounge because I'm afraid people I know will see me go in and judge me for going in there (even if I may or may not be queer). I wish I could go in though!
I got some advice from a gay person that I should go out and get drunk then see who I hook up with in order to figure out whether I'm gay or straight... I think this is bad advice.
I recently succumbed to peer pressure to fit in and I hooked up with a random I'd never met before at a nightclub. We went back to someones apartment and kissed and rubbed, touched etc. but I said I didn't want to have sex or anything and that I'd never 'been with anyone before'. I really regret this experience, I felt awful about it for weeks, disgusting, like I'd been infiltrated. But in a way at least it (maybe?) cleared up that I don't enjoy being with a guy? I don't know.. I think I'm still confused!

So hope you all find that little piece of voyeurism into my life enjoyable!

[arathis]

Hey duckyplucky.

I know what you mean about being too afraid to go into the Queer Lounge. The nice thing is that the MSA corridor can be quite quiet though, so it's not too bad to sneak in.

More importantly, I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. It's terrible that there is such peer pressure to hook up. I would hesitate to say, though, that that experience might be conclusive of things. I think any unwanted sexual experience, whether with a man or a woman, might leave you feeling bad. I know that I've had some pretty bad experiences with guys that left me feeling terrible, but at the moment I'm in a happy heterosexual relationship.

If you're trying to explore some of these feelings more anonymously like I did, though, there are some nice websites around.

Discovering Pride - discoveringprideblog.wordpress.com/2009/07/19/questioning-your-sexual-orientation/

PFLAG Phoenix - Parents, Family, Friends and Lesbians and Gays - www.pflagphoenix.org/quick_guides/guide-questioning.html

Scarleteen - Sex ed for the real world - www.scarleteen.com/

Pink Pages: Support gorups in Victoria - gayvictoria.ca/pinkpages/comm/support-groups.htm

Hope you find them useful and I hope you're okay.

[hespera]

Hey duckyplucky,

i'm actually the female queer officer this year.

as cicada mentioned, there are two entrances to the queer lounge - one that's pretty public opposite the John Medley Library, and one that's off the corridor that leads to the Women's Lounge.
Here's a map:


The quiet corridor may have staff hanging around, but they are seriously queer-friendly and/or queer-identified themselves.

Anyway, the lounge is for people who are Queer or Questioning, and though it can be hard to step in there the first few times, it can be a great place to start getting involved in the queer community. Personally, I couldn't walk in there for a couple of months after I first stepped in, but I've never regretted going back.

As it's the end of term, it's gonna get pretty quiet soon, but we have a Fairy Party on at midday this Wednesday (of week 13) if your interested. We also run reading groups and Women's Time, although we won't have any more of the till next semester. I kinda failed at getting notice of Women's time up here, sorry. I'll do better next semester! There's also Girlzone in the Women's Lounge, which is a discussion about queer topics that is open to all women.

There are also other groups you can go to if you don't want to get involved with the Queer Department.

There's yak, a social group for same-sex attracted people up to 25:
www.fpv.org.au/3_5_2.html

If you're rural, there's the way out youth council:
www.wayout.org.au/

There's a female social group for same-sex attracted, trans or questioning women aged 16 - 30. To become involved, email r.ward [at] latrobe.edu.au

There's also the Gay and Lesbian Switchboard on 03 9663 2939 if you need any counselling.

There's plenty of local social groups in the ALSO directory (http://www.also.org.au/also_directory) under Youth - Social.

Hope this helps!
Hespera

[cicada]

hello hello
thanks for those amazing links hes and arathis! they look really useful

@ duckyplucky - sorry to hear about that negative experiences, that sucks.
yeah i agree, getting drunk to find out more about your sexuality doesn't seem like the best idea.
i would say there's no rush right, take time to find out what works for you in your own terms, without needing to be intoxicated, or having friends find out for you

yeah, like hes said, going into the queer lounge for me was so scary at the start! all these new people and the possibility of outing myself to lots of people at once. However, once i'd been in there a few times i made friends and started to feel pretty comfortable. it's also easier going in there with someone else.

I was running girl zone this semester 1, a small group of people talking about queer issues of any sexuality.
Anyway, if you feel like you'd like to talk more, and the links above aren't enough, feel free to private message me! I've been through what sounds like a lot of stuff you're goin through. also i can go with you in to the queer lounge if you want, it's has amazing squishy couches, microwave, lots of colour. also, it's possibly easier to go in early morning or late arvo when less people are around? might be less intimidating.

but yeah, hes, female queer officer, who posted before this one is totally lovely, friendly and very approachable, someone else great to know from the queer lounge

[emilykate]

hello duckyplucky,

I'm really sorry to hear you've had such a negetive experience - unfortunately it seems to me that these things do happen all too often.

I'm sort-of assuming you're in your late teens/early twenties? (I'm 22.) It certainly is a very, very difficult time - everything from study to moving out/trying to move out to relationships to working greater hours/more challenging jobs/full time...

I just want to echo what both cicada and hes have already said and add that they are both very lovely and very knowledgeable people. You're also welcome to talk to myself or Erica (we're the Women's Officers for 2010) - we can be contacted on [e-mail] or [e-mail] respectively. Alternatively perhaps you may even want to go to a counselor to seek re-asurance and peace of mind? (I know this may seem a little daunting or you may feel that your worries 'aren't enough' to merit talking to a professional psychologist, but I can say from experience that there are councelors out there who can really help to reassure you and help you to see yourself from a different, more positive perspective. It may be that you go just the once.) Hes will probably know a list of some of the best people to speak to in your case, but there is also a phoneline called 'Switchboard' which may be of use. They've recently changed to a new number - this is [phone] and operates 6pm-10pm on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, 2pm-6pm on Wednesdays and 6pm-9pm on Saturdays. You can go to www.switchboard.org.au for more info.

I hope this is of some help. Take care!